Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
