is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
