i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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