Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
