her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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