I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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