Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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