o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
