And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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