Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
