I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
