I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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