Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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