im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
