And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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