I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
