Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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