I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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