i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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