ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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