u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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