i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I don't think brook has ever known best
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
