sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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