I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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