you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
