if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
