how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
