Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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