just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So here I am, sexting at work.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
