i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My vagina is officially offended.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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