Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
