I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
