She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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