Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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