She's like a pop up book from hell.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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