There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can't turn off my feet"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
