Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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