You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
