So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
