I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
wow bdsm is so cute
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
