put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
