my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
