There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
