I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
