fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
