I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
