I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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