My nipple is on Facebook.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
