so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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