apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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