if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
