yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
