God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How external is "for external use only"?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
